


That Which We Call a Rose

by Maeple



Series: Hidekane Week 2018 [5]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crushes, Hidekane Week, Hidekane Week 2018, M/M, Requited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-17 04:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15453597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maeple/pseuds/Maeple
Summary: Haise wonders if he's lovesick or lovelorn--he hopes it's the former. Unrequited love is never fun.ForHidekane WeekDay 5 (posted ontumblr)Prompts:Lovesick/Dreaming of Each Other/"I'm so lonely without you."





	That Which We Call a Rose

Haise just didn't know what was wrong with him.

More so than already, that was. He was well aware there were some things already wrong with him, but ever since going into :re with the Quinx...

He just couldn't stop thinking about that other customer. Nagachika. He had blond hair with brown roots; it stuck out in all directions in an oddly endearing way that reminded him of a sunflower. Those beautiful brown eyes that smiled for him when Haise couldn't see the bottom half of his face under the mask. He visited :re so many times after that, so much he became familiar with the staff, particularly Touka, who had even memorized his order (not that it was hard to, it was only one thing). But Nagachika was always there, as if he were waiting for Haise.

At first, Hide minded his own business, but one day when :re had been particularly busy, the coffee shop was crowded and Haise ended up sharing a table with him.  

It was completely surreal. Haise found him familiar, though he came up blank when he tried to think as to why he would be. Looking into those eyes, he saw some unnamed emotion flash through them--recognition? Sadness?

Haise wasn't sure, but he caught the blue-haired waitress shooting Nagachika weird looks as she waited on them.

Haise soon found out Nagachika didn't talk, but Haise didn't ask why or about the mask. It would be rude.

They seemed to hit it off, Nagachika was charming and witty, and Haise appreciated his intelligence when he needed help with crossword puzzles (don't judge him).

The investigator had tried to pick up sign language, trying to make it easier for Nagachika (it must've been exhausting to write everything down), but found that Nagachika didn't even know sign language. Haise was so embarrassed. Nagachika offered to learn with him, though, but Haise told him it was fine.

Since then, Haise visited :re every Tuesday and Sunday to see him.

_Crap._

It was only when something burning reached his nose was Haise shaken out of his thoughts.

Haise jumped when he realized what he had been cooking was burning--it was black and crispy and there was smoke. He gasped and hurriedly turned off the stove, trying to grab the handle of the frying pan--only to have a hot, searing pain shoot up his hand. He drew it away with a hiss and shook it out.  _Ouch, ouch, ouch._

He grabbed an oven mitt to pick it up and rushed over to the garbage can, quickly disposing of the (probably inedible) food. Dang it. He dropped the pan in the sink and threw the oven mitt onto the counter in favor of running cold water over his poor hand.

It healed rather quickly, but that didn't make it hurt any less. The smoke in the kitchen and living room was almost overpowering, so Haise went to open the windows, but instead found Shirazu at it already.

"Geez, Sassan, what were you _doing_?" he asked as he turned to face his mentor, walking over to lean against the back of the couch. Haise wished he wouldn't do that (after the couch incident, he was always nervous whenever someone sat on it. He feared the worst like he should’ve).

Haise flushed in embarrassment and cracked a sheepishly awkward smile. Akira would've scolded him for being so absentminded. "Ah... sorry, Shirazu. I guess you could say things got a bit _hot_  in there."

Shirazu groaned at the terrible joke before eyeing his superior. "Sassan, you've been acting strange lately."

Saiko, who Haise did not expect to see downstairs, piped up from the hallway, "Yeah, Maman. Something--or _someone_  on your mind?" she asked as she stared down at her DS.

Their mentor sighed and ignored the question. "Anyways, I'm sorry about dinner. It might be a bit later than usual," he apologized again.

"...Where's Urie?" he asked as an afterthought. Haise knew Mutsuki was training with Juuzou, and Shirazu and Saiko were in front of him, as they had come down once they smelled his disastrous cooking.

Shirazu shrugged. "Don't know. He said he'd be back by dinner."

Haise let out a long sigh.

 

Haise only realized just how distracted he was when Akira was trying to talk to him, and he completely zoned out with thoughts of Nagachika.

It was really getting excessive, wasn't it?

With his elbow on the table, he propped up his chin with his hand.

Haise wondered what happened to the poor guy, to have to write everything down. And why did he come to the cafe, if he never ordered anything? Did :re allow people to loiter without ordering?

"--Haise. Do you understand?" Akira's voice cut sharply into his thoughts as she spooned more curry into her mouth.

Haise straightened and gave a nod, though he actually didn't understand. He hoped she didn't say anything important (okay, anything _too_  important).

The young woman nodded as she set down the spoon. "Great. Then I expect the case update report by Tuesday."

"Wait--what?" Haise visibly paled.

His superior sighed. "Haise, I don't know what's wrong with you right now, but this is ridiculous. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're lovesick."

The half-ghoul blushed as he looked down at the table, setting his hands in his lap.

 

When Haise went back to the Chateau, upon being informed that the Quinx Squad had a new assignment, he couldn't get the conversation with Akira out of his head.

It was still pretty early, not yet one-thirty PM. The Quinx were out, doing--something. He vaguely remembered being told that they were going out for lunch before Haise left to meet Akira. But he couldn't be sure--he had been thinking of Nagachika that time (of course). Was he really as out of it as Akira claimed he was? Probably.

He found his cheeks warming as he set the files down on the wooden kitchen table.  _Lovesick,_  was what she called it. Was this what a crush felt like? For some reason, whenever he thought of Nagachika, his whole body was filled with a pleasant feeling not quite like numbness, but something similar and warm. But there was a deep ache to it, an ever-present throb. Maybe Haise couldn't remember if he knew Nagachika--but his heart did. Or perhaps it didn't remember, just felt an irrational infatuation.

_Lovesick._

Haise flopped down into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. So maybe he was a bit lovesick. Or maybe _lovelorn_  was the better word. He didn't know.

The half-ghoul sighed and put his head down on the table. He couldn't go on like this. Not when he was so distracted he could barely concentrate.

 

Haise found himself out of the house, on his way to :re when he saw a flower shop.

He went in and came back out with a single rose. Something about it reminded him of purple hair, but he shook it off.

Haise was so nervous. His heart pounded wildly in his chest, screaming for him to turn around and go back, pretend like he hadn't ever thought of doing what he was going to do--

But he was in front of :re before he knew it. His feet had carried him there on autopilot. There were multiple people in the cafe; it would be rude to turn around then. _Too late,_  Haise supposed.

:re was a homely coffee shop, unoffensive and welcoming. But the lovely scent of coffee did nothing to soothe his frazzled nerves as he entered, the bell on the door chiming to announce his presence. It closed softly behind him with a small click.

"Ah, Sasaki, another table for one?" Touka greeted.

Haise nodded. "Yes, please."

The waitress led him to one of the tables in the corner, near the bookshelves. "A black coffee?" she asked once Haise was seated.

Haise smiled up at the woman. "Please," he replied.

He swore Touka's eyes smiled for him for a moment. A pain began in the back of his eyes.

"Got it," Touka replied, walking off. Haise swallowed and brought a hand up to rub his temple, but as fast as the pain began, it disappeared. He realized he was blushing as he looked around the cafe for Nagachika. He felt his heart sink when he realized the blond wasn't there.  _Yet,_  his hopeful heart wanted to add. Haise touched the single rose in his jacket pocket with a hand.

This was so stupid. He was so irrational, so  _intruding_. The gesture would probably be unwelcome. Nagachika wasn't even there.

Haise could feel himself deflate like a balloon, his confidence crumbling. It was a silly idea.

He gently pulled the rose out of the pocket and set it on the table. He took out his phone and tried to read the book he downloaded--but his thoughts wandered. They loved to do that.

_Lovesick. Lovelorn._

He glanced at the rose.

"Here you are, Sasaki," Touka said as she set down the cup of coffee on the table, smoothing out her apron.

Haise startled and looked up, his face warming in embarrassment. "Thank you," he replied.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see someone walk into the coffee shop and could hear the bell chime as Touka turned to greet the customer. His heart took a leap as he looked to see it was Nagachika, bleached hair and impossibly brown eyes. The warm feeling flooded over him once again, the dull throb returned.

_Lovesick._

The waitress greeted him, knowing that she didn't need to take his order, and walked away. He slid into the seat across from Haise and waved at him.

"Hey, Nagachika," Haise greeted in return with a small smile.

Nagachika cocked his head and slightly narrowed his eyes, as if he were mentally debating something, before reaching for the calligraphy pen to write, 'You can just call me 'Hide'. I know my first name and surname can be a mouthful.'

_Hide._

The pain behind his eyes returned. He blinked a few times.

"Hide..." Haise said aloud, the name rolling off his tongue with a strange familiarity. It was fitting, but he couldn't tell why.

'That's my name,' Hide wrote, flipping the notepad around for Haise to read as he looked down to the table for a second.

Haise swallowed. "Ah--Sorry, Hide," he said. He felt like his face was on fire at that point, knowing that Hide willingly sat next to him, was willingly conversing with him--even wanted to, maybe. But maybe Haise was just being conceited to think so (but then why would he come there, every Tuesday and Sunday, and sit next to him?)

The half-ghoul cleared his throat awkwardly. "You know... you can call me Haise," he said quietly. Stupid. What was he doing? Hide didn't really need to write his name, it was clear who he was talking to. Stupid.

'Well, Haisay (Did I spell that right?), it's fine. I like talking with you.'

Haise blinked down at the spelling of 'Haisay' before chuckling. "Not quite," he said.

Hide shrugged, his eyes smiling as he handed Haise the pen. Their hands brushed as he accepted it. Haise must've been as red as a tomato. God, what was he? Some high school girl in a rom-com? He might as well be.

Haise took the notepad and wrote 'Haise' on it, with the correct kanji, and returned it to Hide, who nodded, then looked down at the table, at the rose.

Hide's eyebrows raised. 'You aren't waiting for a date, are you?' he asked.

Haise quickly shook his head and took a deep breath. "Oh--no... it's... for you... actually..."

Hide blinked in surprise as Haise held out the rose. The half-ghoul's cheeks were flushed as he looked away, unable to meet the blond's eyes in fear of rejection.

_Lovelorn._

“Flowers need sunshine, so I thought you were the obvious choice," Haise gave his best attempt at flirting with a sheepish smile. And mentally facepalmed. Was that the best he could do?

He was almost surprised as Hide accepted the rose, eyes beaming, a blush dusting what Haise could see of his cheeks. He set the rose down to write,  'Wow, Haise, quite the charmer, aren't you?'

If it was even possible, Haise's face heated up even more. "Not as charming as you, of course." Wow. Haise could usually navigate the waters, but when it came to Nagachika... all social skills flew out the window.

Hide blinked warmly in amusement, visibly pleased. 'Is this you asking me out?'

Oh yeah, it was definitely possible, especially then.

"Well... if you want to... go out, that is..." Haise mumbled.

Hide gave a small nod. 'I would like that, Haise,' he wrote, a blush reaching his ears as he showed the half-ghoul. 'We should probably exchange phone numbers, yeah?'

Haise's embarrassment had nearly died down, but pink still colored his cheeks. "Y-yeah," he stuttered out, in a bit of shock. The pain behind his eyes calmed.

Hide nodded before jotting down a string of numbers. He ripped the section of the paper off and handed it to Haise.

"Th-Thank you," Haise said softly as he could see the blond's ears turn pink. Hide gave a small nod.

'Text me, or something. I--' Hide's face was red as his hand hesitated before finishing the sentence, '--have to go. I forgot I had some errands to run.' He showed Haise the words before getting up.

"Wait--Hide--" Haise said, but the words died on his lips as Hide turned, eyebrows raised, as if to ask him what.

The pain increased. Haise clenched his jaw.

"Did I--Did I know you...?" the half-ghoul breathed after a moment.

Some unnamed emotion flashed again in Hide's eyes again. His shoulders seemed to relax as he slowly sat back down. 'Maybe once, you did,' he said wrote.

Haise swallowed. So Hide knew him? Before he lost his memories? How hard was that for him? "I--I'm sorry--" he found himself apologizing.

Hide shook his head, silencing him. 'It's not like it's your fault,' he wrote.

"What--what was I... to you...?" he asked hesitantly.

Hide fell still for a moment. 'Someone--' his hand paused, '--very important,' he finally decided on. Haise looked down at his untouched coffee as he realized that when he first saw Hide (again, he supposed), it wasn't recognition or sadness that flashed in his eyes.

It was pain.

'Here, Haise. Don't blame yourself so much You're still a bookworm, yeah?' Hide paused to show Haise for him to nod. 'Well, let's put it this way--' the blond thought for a moment, as if recalling what he had for dinner yesterday, '"A rose by any other name would be as sweet".'

Haise looked away from his reflection in the dark liquid to read the paper Hide showed him before looking up again. Hide's eyes were warm--and he knew the quote was entirely genuine when he put it that way. He felt his lips tug up into a smile.

"Didn't know you were one for Shakespeare. Thank you, Hide, I guess I should let you run your errands. Sorry to keep you. 'Parting is such sweet sorrow'."

Hide rolled his eyes. 'We'll see each other again, you overdramatic dork.'

Haise laughed. "Well, if you quote Juliet's lines, it's only fitting for me to quote Romeo's, right?"

Hide's eyes softened as they met Haise's before writing a final parting message, 'You're such a nerd. Let's hope that unlike Romeo and Juliet, we don't die. I look forward to your texts, alright?'

_We’re Romeo and Juliet in so many more ways than one. A ghoul and a human--_

"Yeah..." Haise replied quietly as he watched Hide walk away.  

Haise wondered what kind of people he used to have in his life. If he had Hide, it couldn’t be that bad, could it?

**Author's Note:**

> I have such a big soft spot for this pairing, I had to write it at least once this week.
> 
> Thanks for reading! :)


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